Kal Ho Naa Ho, Part 17

Strip club! Rohit’s there with his father, Satish Shah. He tells Rohit to enjoy, enjoy, but Rohit tells him that he doesn’t want to enjoy. Rohit’s father asks him if everything is “normal,” and Rohit wants to know what “normal” means, since he doesn’t seem to think it means watching his father ogle naked women. His dad says that Kantaben told him that Rohit was in love with someone. Rohit sighs and says it doesn’t matter, because the love isn’t mutual. Relieved, Rohit’s father says, “Thank God!” Rohit can’t believe that he’s happy that Rohit’s dreams of getting married and having kids have been crushed, since that’s supposed to be the one universal goal of Indian parents everywhere. Rohit’s father is momentarily confused by the possibility of Rohit having kids, but then remembers that he’s in America, where anything is possible, even non-gay gay people having children. He explains that Kantaben mentioned something about a cupboard, but doesn’t really want to elaborate; Rohit finally figures out the mix-up, indicates via sign language that he’s not gay, and tells his father that he’s in love with a girl. His father tells him to explain about the girl in the car on the way home, because his mother misses him.

They arrive at the house that dhoklas built, where Rohit’s mother and her friends do a “Rohit’s back from the strip club” song and dance routine. Buffet Time! Rohit asks what’s up with the buffet and the dancers and everything, and his mother explains that they’re rehearsing for their 25^th wedding anniversary party, where they will be performing a dance. About Rohit being back from the strip club? Rohit’s parents ask him what he'll be doing for the party, and Rohit makes a face and changes the subject to the fact they’re having their 25^th wedding anniversary, and he’s 28. Sounds like somebody was an accident! They cover by saying that they are just trying to hide their age from the Gujju community. Rohit looks relieved, then notices a crowd of Indian women of marriageable age smiling and waving at him. His father informs him that he is now a GCGC, or Good Catch of Gujju Community, tells him they’ve picked out a girl and a wedding date, hands him the bride’s photo and some honeymoon brochures, and starts talking about baby names. But what about nursery schools? Rohit’s parents better get on the ball. Rohit gets angry and says that he doesn’t want to get married. His dad asks him if he’s still heterosexual, and Rohit says it’s not that; he just doesn’t want to get married.

As Rohit storms away in exasperation and says a few more times that he doesn’t want to get married, a woman asks him if he’s sure. She’s wearing a low-cut laundry bag over a sports bra and a giant square choker that makes her head look like it’s been severed from her body, but other than that, she’s quite attractive. She comments to the woman standing next to her that Rohit is good looking and rich, then introduces herself as Camilla and offers Rohit her phone number. Well, she seems interested and friendly, but what does the incidental music think about her? “She wants your money!” the incidental music sings. Hmm, I guess the incidental music usually is right about these things, but I don't see why it always has to be so judgemental.

As Voiceover Naina talks about forging relationships, Naina walks into her house and gets similarly railroaded into a matchmaking attempt. Dadi tells Naina that Kammo’s brother is visiting with his family, who are seated in the living room. Kammo’s brother introduces everyone and is particularly enthusiastic in his introduction of his daughter-in-law “Mrs. Jassi!” He seems to be focused on setting up his younger son Bantu, who is shy and coy, but has nice eyes. Various jokes that I don’t get are made, then Naina excuses herself to go have a word with Dadi. In the next room, Naina angrily asks her what’s going on, and Dadi explains that the family has extended a marriage proposal. They start arguing, then Jennifer comes in to shush them. Then she starts arguing with Dadi, and the argument escalates until Naina yells “Stop it!” so loudly that Kammo’s brother drops his laddoo in the next room. Naina tells Jennifer and Dadi that the house has been full of hatred ever since her father died, and says that no one would want to marry into such a non-loving family. Then she goes back into the living room and tells Kammo’s brother and his family that she and her family are crazy and that they should get out while they still can. As Naina storms out, Dadi tells Kammo’s brother to eat a big laddoo. I should start carrying salads and laddoos around with me just so I can start stuffing my face anytime something awkward happens.

Naina goes to her special picnic table by the bridge to sob, and her mother finds her and sits down next to her. Jennifer confirms that Naina’s in love with Aman even though he’s married, then starts crying about the fact that Naina will never love again and will die alone. Naina says that the guilt trip’s not going to work, because she loves Aman, and really will die alone. As she reflects on all of Aman’s irritating qualities, like the fact that he’s always eavesdropping, Aman shows up on the bench behind her, eavesdropping and enjoying a beverage from Starbucks. Neither Jennifer nor Naina appears to notice him, even though he’s about two feet away. Naina asks Jennifer what she should do about her broken heart, and Jennifer says that their angel is looking at them right now, and will make sure that Naina loves again. Oh, so Aman’s the angel! This whole time I’ve been waiting for John Travolta to show up. So is Aman invisible? Voiceover Naina explains that Aman’s plan is to fill her heart with Rohit’s love, even though Rohit is otherwise occupied right now.

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