Kal Ho Naa Ho, Part 12

Rohit and Naina get carried out of the club by some large bouncers. As Naina screams at them to let her go, Rohit asks a bouncer who looks nothing like Mohammed Ali if he’s Mohammed Ali. Aman tells them to shut up while Rohit tries not to puke, then they walk down the middle of the street in Times Square and sing “It’s the time to Disco.” It’s like their own little New Year’s Rockin’ Eve special. Rohit and Naina talk about walking to school when they were kids, then Rohit starts to fake cry and says that he misses his father. Aman asks Rohit when his father died, and Rohit says indignantly that he’s still alive. Naina says that she misses her father, too, then starts to fake cry in a slightly more convincing manner. Rohit walks over to her, wipes her tears, and tells her that he really likes her, and that his day is not complete until he has seen her. But did she have him at hello? Or show him the money? As the piano theme of tentative romance swells, Aman lets go of Naina’s other hand and looks sad. Naina tells Rohit that he’s cute, and Rohit starts play fighting with her and saying that he’ll box her one. My dad used to say that, and would then taunt his opponent by saying that they boxed like a chicken. Maybe that’s how he got my mom to marry him. Aman stands behind them and wistfully watches as they laugh and box each other one.

Dawn breaks behind a silhouetted bridge. Cut to Rohit’s apartment, where Rohit and Aman nuzzle each other in bed while Laila the dog sits behind them. Half-asleep, Rohit says “Good morning, Laila,” and pats Aman on the head. Aman says good morning to Rohit, who sleepily asks if Laila has learned to speak. Aman opens his eyes and barks, causing Rohit to open his eyes and sit up, startled. Aman explains that he dropped Rohit off, then decided to crash in Rohit’s bed because it was late. OK, but why is he barking like a dog? And how many times did they have sex? Aman asks for some water, and Rohit tells him to get it himself, because it’s right next to Rohit’s crotch. That Rohit’s a smooth operator. Aman bends over Rohit’s crotch to get some water, while Rohit stretches and groans. An older woman walks in, carrying a tray with some breakfast on it. Aman retrieves the water, sits up, and greets the surprised Kantaben. Hands shaking, Kantaben tells Rohit that breakfast is ready and asks what she should get the guest, looking suspiciously at Aman. Aman leans cozily against Rohit and asks Kantaben for a banana, making a thumbs-up gesture with his hand. It’s nice to know that phallic banana jokes can transcend the barriers of language and culture. Aman does some more ambiguously gay stuff, and Kantaben recoils, wiping her eyes on her sari in order to remove the residue of gay. Then she takes another peek. Watch out, Kantaben, it might be contagious!

Aman and Rohit make coffee, and Aman confirms that Rohit and Naina didn’t meet at the park. Rohit says that when he first met Naina, he didn’t like her at all, but that now… Aman interrupts and says he understands, that Rohit and Naina are very close. As he puts some milk in his coffee, he asks Rohit if he wants more. Rohit says he’s happy with just friendship, and Aman says he was talking about the milk. Why is Rohit drinking Parmalat? That stuff’s gross. As Aman gets up to leave, he tells Rohit that he knows everything about Naina, because he read Rohit’s diary, up until the part about Rohit’s red chuddies. Isn’t that the part where you would want to start reading? Or maybe that’s just me.

At church, the gospel choir sings “Amen” as the service comes to an end. Aman greets Jennifer, saying that he liked the service. Surprised, Naina comes up to him, and Aman tells her to stop following him. Naina tries to leave, but Aman grabs her hand and says he was just joking. He continues to hold her hand and makes a speech about how last night, he realized that she was a girl, but that for some reason she wants to hide the girl in her. So all this time Aman thought Naina was a man? He adds that somewhere, her father is watching her, and would rather see Naina smiling than crying over him. Even if the reason she's smiling is because she's completely hammered and stripping in public? Naina's dad sounds like a pretty cool guy. Aman points at her dimple and tells her to smile, then sings the gospel choir’s “Amen” song and dances away with an old lady. Naina smiles and touches her dimple.

Voiceover Naina says that everyone was falling for Aman. A montage reveals that Aman has convinced the 3 Amigos to give up singing in favor of doing the whorehouse dance from Devdas, has given Shiv a stepladder so he can play basketball, and has inspired Gia to impersonate him in doll form. Plus, he’s made Naina smile. Eight times!

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