Kal Ho Naa Ho, Part 16

As Aman and Priya walk down the street, Aman asks her to tell him truthfully how much time he has left. Aman is wearing a burlap sack labelled with a Sharpie marker. Priya avoids the question and asks Aman about Naina. Aman says that since Naina’s father already left her, if Aman leaves her too, she will go insane, both because she is already partially insane, and because all the girls go crazy for hot studs like Aman. Except for Priya, because she’s tall. Aman talks about how much he loves Naina, and says that all his life he ran away from love, but then when his life started running away from him, love bumped into him. He makes a little tongue clucking noise to mimic the sound of love bumping into him in the dead-end, deserted alley where his life was headed. Then he gazes seriously at Priya and asks her if he really doesn’t have much time. Priya tries to tell Aman that as soon as he finds a donor, he’ll be fine, but is really bad at lying. Aman starts making fun of her shitty bedside manner and tells her to give him a hug, since it’s not like there’s anything else she can do, like, oh, I don’t know, take him to a hospital and try to provide him with some kind of medical care.

Naina stalks them from her upstairs window, as Voiceover Naina talks about how bummed she and Gia are that Aman is married. As Rohit waters his plants sadly, Voiceover Naina explains that Laila has also found love. Rohit’s dog sits happily next to a German Shepherd on a lawn chair. It’s nice that Laila has found a relationship with another dog that goes beyond the superficial level of feverish humping. Voiceover Naina says that the biggest heartbreak of all was Sweetu’s, because Frankie ran off to London to join some bhangra group with a lame-ass name. Voiceover Naina explains that while the youngsters were nursing their broken hearts, the elders were getting ready for a little somethin’ somethin’. Chadda and Lajjo exchange glances through the window while admiring the roses that have at some point been in the possession of every person in the movie.

Naina goes to the store to return the red dress that she already wore, and bumps into Rohit, who, coincidentally, is also returning the red article of clothing that indicated that he was in love and feeling optimistic about it. Naina is wearing a pink sweater, and Rohit is wearing a pink tie, so apparently pink is the color to wear if you’re in love with someone who has just rejected you. Maybe tomorrow they’ll both be wearing their blue jelly bracelets, indicating that they’re looking for a no-strings attached physical relationship. Rohit asks Naina what happened to Aman, but they decide to go get a salad before Naina talks about it.

Cut to Rohit, eating a salad, expressing shock that Aman is married. He asks why Naina didn’t tell him earlier, before he and Aman got drunk and had sex. Naina says that if she had known earlier, she wouldn’t have fallen in love. Rohit asks her what she’s going to do now. Naina says that first she couldn’t fall in love, and now she can’t fall out of it, but she has to, or her heart will feel lonely. Rohit tells her that she’ll never be alone, because he will always be there for her. He flirts with her some more, but pretends that he’s kidding. Then he gazes at her in a non-kidding way and asks her if she thinks she’ll ever fall in love with someone again. His eyes say, “[Cough, cough] Someone like me [cough].” Naina looks at him for ten minutes, then goes back to eating her salad. Rohit decides to pretend he didn’t say anything, and goes back to eating his salad. Good thing there’s some salad there, or that would have been totally awkward.

Voiceover Naina explains that her silence made Rohit realize that he has to forget his first love. He tells Laila that he has to forget his first love. At least Laila is there for him, when she could have been out on a romantic date with the German Shepherd. Voiceover Naina explains that it’s not that easy to forget your first love, as she waits tables at the restaurant, looks at Aman, and tries to forget her first love. Montage! Lajjo holds a flower and says that her first love was Dev Anand. Chadda says that his first and last love is Lajjo. Kammo and Vimmo stroke some phallic vegetables and realize that they both loved the same dude, Lovechand Kukreja. Shiv looks at his first love, an Asian girl who touches his cheek disinterestedly. Gia gasps, maybe because Shiv seems way more into the relationship than his girlfriend. Guru’s first love wasn’t that into him either, so he shot her.

Aman leaves angry messages on Rohit’s machine, telling him that he can’t forget his first love, and begging Rohit to call him back. I think Aman needs to let it go, since Rohit seems to have written it off as just a fleeting, drunken night of passion. Kantaben hears the message, and the thought of Rohit being involved in a homosexual relationship with Aman causes her to quake with fear. Or maybe she’s quaking with fear at the thought that their happy and loving relationship has gone sour. Difficult to tell. Aaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy, KANTABEN!

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