Kal Ho Naa Ho, Part 3

As they walk through Grand Central Station, Naina hands Sweetu the letter that got mixed in with her mail, and Sweetu explains that it’s an application for a dating service. Naina asks Sweetu what she has written about herself, and she starts to say that she wrote that from far away, she looks like Aishwarya Rai, but Naina interrupts and says that up close, she looks like Aishwarya Rai’s house. Did she see Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam? That house is pretty sweet, except for the whole having to wander for days through the desert just to get to the damn place.

Someone bumps into Naina, causing her to spill coffee all over herself. Sweetu starts to help her clean it up, but then gets distracted by a goofy-looking guy who is rapping along with his discman. “Just look at me, I’m out of control,” he raps, as he points to himself. Sweetu seems enthralled by the way he’s standing around in the middle of the train station, swaying back and forth like this panhandler that used to hang out in Harvard Square and sing along to “Not Yet a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” on his radio.

Naina’s annoyed that Sweetu’s not paying any attention to her, and tells her to shut up. She says that Sweetu’s only interested in boys, and that one day, she’ll get the boy that she wants, they’ll get married and have kids, and then he’ll leave her and go away, and then what will Sweetu do? Sweetu says that she’ll just get married again, then glances sassily at the camera. She says that what her didi says is right, then touches Naina’s cheek and says, “Babes, you need help.” Naina looks exasperated.

Cut to Lillette Dubey, who is peeking through some blinds at a Chinese restaurant across the street. She mutters some bleeped out swear words about the bastards taking all their business. Naina voiceovers that this is Jazz, full name Jaswinder Kapoor, Sweetu’s sister and unfortunately Jennifer’s best friend and business partner. Apparently her problems are the youth that she clings desperately to and the age that she refuses to accept. Aren’t those the same problem? Three attractive construction workers walk into the restaurant, so Jazz adjusts her boobs in her corset-y looking top and goes out to bring them some coffee in a flirtatious manner, pretending to burn herself with the hott, hott coffee and whatnot. They mock her because she is a single woman who has passed marriageable age, calling her “Mummy.” I’m not sure if they’re referring to her as their mother, or as a preserved Egyptian corpse. I guess either way, the joke is that she’s an old hag, so it works on a number of different levels. She throws them out of the diner, calling them some more bleeped out swear words. You know what’s nice about the internet? No bleeping. Shit! Fuck!

Later, Jazz apologizes to Jennifer as Naina and Sweetu look on, Sweetu wearing an ugly-ass skirt that looks like it’s made of patriotic bunting. Jennifer is frustrated and recaps the loan situation for everyone, then says, “Goff!” in frustration as Naina gives her a hug.

Part 2 Part 4