Main Hoon Na, Part 14

Ram returns home. He opens the gate, then pauses to look up at the sky and tell his father to keep on watching. Why? Is there going to be another dance sequence? Because those last two were awesome. He says that this time his mother will accept him, and so will Lucky. Then Ram lifts up his arms and does Lucky's Karate Kid crane move with the “woop woop” noises, because that always cracks his dead father up. No, seriously, that's what he does. Then he enters the house, where Lucky and his mom are sitting stock still on the couch in front of a gusty window. Dramatic drumbeat! Ram says hello, and Lucky rolls his eyes while his mother remains silent. Ram says that he has something to tell them. They seem less than enthused. “Ram?” a voice calls out behind him. It’s Raghavan, sitting right behind Ram in a really high-backed chair. He asks Ram if he’s Shehkar Sharma’s son. Busted! Raghavan tells Ram that he and Shekhar Sharma were college buddies, and asks him for Gen. Sharma's address or contact number, the Hindi term for which seems to be “number-wumber.” Lucky and his mom stare coldly at Ram, who is not forthcoming with the number-wumber. Raghavan notices the tense vibe and asks Ram if something is wrong. Raghavan says that it looks like he came at the wrong time, so he says good-bye and leaves. Always so polite, that Raghavan.

Mrs. Sharma and Lucky avoid eye contact with Ram, then finally turn to look at him. He starts to say that he was just about to tell them who he is, but Lucky tells him to shut up. Ram tells Mrs. Sharma that he hopes that she can understand why he acted the way he did. Lucky tries to interrupt, but his mother tells him to let Ram speak and asks him why he hid his identity from them. She asks if he expected them to accept him and forget the last 20 years that she spent like a widow, years that will never return. She asks if he thought that if he took her to the temple once, everything would be made right again. Ram says no. Good answer, Ram! She says that wounds twenty years deep don’t get filled in twenty days, and tells Ram to tell his father that she and Lucky don’t need him anymore; they’re used to living without him. She says that Gen. Sharma’s penance will be that he has to live apart from them and die without seeing their faces. Wow, it’s like she's psychic or something. She tells Ram to pack his things and leave. Ram gets up and goes to his bedroom. Lucky throws something at the sofa and yells “Shit! Goddamn it!” in a tour de force bit of acting.

Ram comes back with his bags and the urn and heads for the door. Mrs. Sharma asks him to wait a minute and then asks him why he did all of this. Oh yeah, she never actually let him answer the question. Once you get Mrs. Sharma going about her husband's infidelity, it’s kind of hard to shut her up. He tells her that he came there to fulfill his father’s last wish. Lucky and Mrs. Sharma are all, “His what wish now? Oh shit.” Ram tells them that they were right about his father’s penance. He says that his father loved them a lot, and wanted Lucky to help Ram scatter his ashes. Ram says that all he wanted was to unite his family, even though he knew that he wouldn’t be accepted, and that he’s sorry. He looks at them plaintively and says “Bye,” pauses for a moment so they have an opening to stop him, which they don't, then walks out the door. Lucky and his mom collapse into sobs in front of the fireplace. Later Lucky lies on his bed and cries as his mother looks at old photographs of Gen. Sharma in another room.

College quad. Everyone has gathered in a semicircle to bid Ram good-bye. Percy gives him a bouquet, Mini gives him some lipstick, and Mrs. Kakkad gives him the Bill Cosby sweater she’s been knitting. The principal goes to high five Ram, but salutes instead. A song plays about bonds being broken. Like when hydrocarbons are broken down during combustion. Thanks Ms. Chandni! Sanju starts crying and gives Ram a hug. Ms. Chandni watches him from a far away gate. Cut to the train station, where a train approaches as Ram and Ms. Chandni wait on a bench. Ram leaves as Ms. Chandni remains seated and looks sad. I hope she got his email address.
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