Main Hoon Na, Part 12

The band grooves to some slow jams as Ms. Chandni bids the flirting principal and Ms. Kakkad good night. Raghavan approaches and compliments Ms. Chandni on her dancing. She says, “Thank you. Good night,” and starts to walk away, kind of bitchily. I guess maybe she’s getting the crazy child murderer vibe off of him. Or she's just not that into him. Raghavan asks her how she’s getting home, and she says that she’s a big girl and will drive herself home. Raghavan says that someone should at least escort her to her car, and when Ms. Chandni tells him not to trouble himself, he says that he was talking about Ram. He calls Ram over and tells him to walk Ms. Chandni to her car. I hope this isn’t part of an evil plan of some sort. Ram is reluctant, but notices everyone else at the dance getting all couple-y and figures, what the hell. After they leave, Raghavan speaks into his transmitter, telling the men in the hijacked jeep that the target is approaching. Ooh, good, I love Target. When it opens, Raghavan can get himself a nice Michael Graves teakettle.

Ms. Chandni apologizes to Ram for having to escort her, while Ram smells her sari pallu. He says it’s his duty, (to escort her, not to smell her clothes. I assume.) and she asks him where he learned to dance so well. He should show her the dance montage. He starts to tell her that he feels out of place whenever he’s around her, but she says, “Oh, no, not again” and walks away from him. She gets in her car, which is parked in front of the hijacked jeep, then asks Ram if he will drive her home. This woman is all about the mixed signals. Suddenly a guy pops up in the front seat and drives her away, running over Ram in the process. Ram rolls over the top of the car and lands on his feet, then takes out his gun, but has to jump out of the way when the terrorist jeep pulls out to follow.

Ram takes a shortcut by tumbling down a hill that looks strikingly similar to the hill he cut through on the bicycle rickshaw. Watch out for the exploding gasoline containers and bamboo trucks! At the bottom of the hill, Ram reaches the road ahead of the fleeing cars and pulls out his gun. The cars are still approaching, so he re-adjusts his jacket. Then he aims the gun at the men in the jeep, shooting them both. Their car careens into a road sign, flips over, and explodes in front of Ms. Chandni’s car, which gradually slows to a stop in a rather non-dramatic fashion. The terrorist steps out, holding Ms. Chandni hostage. He tells Ram to put down his gun, or he’ll shoot Ms. Chandni. Ram points the gun, which has a helpful laser pointer attachment, at Ms. Chandni’s forehead, then slowly scans down her chest, then lingers lovingly for a moment on her stomach, then moves a bit lower to her hips, then -- I know Ms. Chandni’s hot, but seriously, Ram, take a cold shower or something. Finally, Ram shoots Ms. Chandni between the legs, and Ms. Chandni and the terrorist are both like, what the fuck? The terrorist pulls away, and Ram shoots him, as Ms. Chandni realizes that Ram’s shot didn’t hit her, only the luxurious folds of her sari. Ms. Chandni is speechless. Ram smiles coolly and says, “Sorry about the sari. Ma’am.” Nothing like a goofy pun to cap off an evening of killing people and ruining saris. “It’s no problem,” Ms. Chandni squeaks, as Ram leaves her to fend for herself among the dead or wounded terrorists.

Raghavan drives Lucky and Sanju home. He drops off Lucky at his house, and tells Sanju that she can get out and say good-bye to him if she wants. Lucky and Sanju kiss on the cheek, then Sanju gets back in the car. They run into Ram on the road; he jumps in the car, waving the gun around, and asks Raghavan to take him to the hostel. They pull into the hostel, where Gen. Singh is waiting for them with a bunch of guys with guns. Raghavan coughs uncomfortably because he just peed his pants a little bit. Sanju gets out of the car and hugs her father. She says she sorry, then he says, no, he’s sorry, then she says, no she’s sorry, and then I say I’m sorry that I just had to recap that last bit of dialogue.

Ram adjusts something on his gun and thanks Raghavan for dropping him off at the hostel. Raghavan notices his gun-adjusting and asks him if he’s in the army. Ram extends his hand and says, “Major Ram, sir.” Shouldn’t that be “Major Sharma?” Or is everyone in the Indian Army on a first name basis? Raghavan tells him that the country is in good hands, then drives away. Sanju gives her father a confused look, and he explains that he sent Ram for her protection. Ram winks and Sanju gasps in disbelief.
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