Main Hoon Na, Part 10

Daytime. Lucky stands on a balcony and wistfully watches Percy and the nerdy guy from the library messing around with a scooter and wearing Thermoses around their necks. Ram asks Lucky what he’s looking at, and he says, “The luckiest guy in college.” It’s OK, Lucky, I’ll get you a Thermos. You can put some coffee in it! Sanju stops by the balcony, and Lucky looks flustered and walks away. Sanju says that Lucky must really miss his dad, so Ram gives a big speech about how at least she has the choice to talk to her father, and how, deep inside, he’s probably a scared little girl too, because we always fear those we love the most. It makes more sense when he says it.

Extreme close-up of Prof. Rasai on the phone, trying arrange a hook-up with some married woman and spitting all over the glass of the phone booth, which has pictures of Rani Mukherjee pasted all over it. Some terrorists knock on the door, then shove a gun in his mouth and take him away. Cut to Lucky, smoking in his room. Ram walks in and asks him what he’s getting his mom for her birthday. Lucky forgot again. Lucky bends over and tells Ram to kick him in the ass because he deserves it. Ram kicks him in the ass. Lucky asks Ram to help him think of something for his mother. How about a Thermos? Or maybe an urn with her husband’s ashes in it? Ram has an idea.

Morning, the next day. Lucky’s mom prepares to worship, but then sees something and drops her tray in surprise. It’s Lucky! With a haircut! He hands her his leftover hair with a ribbon tied around it and tells her that he loves her. My birthday’s coming up soon; I'm hoping that someone gives me some skanky hair tied up with a ribbon, too. She gives Lucky a hug and notices Ram standing in the doorway. She mouths “Thank you” to him, and he looks teary and wishes her a happy birthday.

Physics class. The principal enters, wearing a subdued Looney Tunes tie. He tells the class that he has good news and bad news. The bad news is that Prof. Rasai has resigned. The class cheers! No more spit! The principal claps, too, then remembers that he’s supposed to be sad. The good news is that Prof. Rasai has sent a replacement himself. It’s nice that the college goes through such a rigorous screening process when hiring new faculty. The class boos, but the principal tells them to welcome Prof. Raghav Datta. Badass metal music plays as Raghavan enters, disguised with some dorky glasses. Ram look suspicious, wondering what kind of physics professor has badass electric guitar entrance music. Richard Feynman, that’s who! And also Raghavan. Raghavan asks the students to call him by his first name, and tells them that he is sympathetic to their youthful perspective. Raghavan notices Ram and asks why he’s so old and still in college. St. Paul’s should really be more welcoming to mature students. Sanju starts to explain on behalf of Ram, but Raghavan tells her to shut her Lays-potato-chip-hole when her elders are speaking and insults her father. Everyone’s like, “Whoa, this dude’s totally bipolar.” Lucky stands up for Sanju, so Raghavan turns to him and asks him what his name is. Lucky is wearing a shirt that looks like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. He says, “Lakshman Prasad Sharma,” and everyone is shocked. SHOCKED. Raghavan tells Lucky to sit down, but wants Ram to remain standing. He tells Ram that he seems intelligent and disciplined, and he wonders whether Ram has taught the other students anything. He tells the class that now they will learn everything, and have fun, too! It’ll be like Dead Poets Society, except with a terrorist instead of Robin Williams.

The only hallway in the school. Sanju complains to Lucky about the new professor, and Lucky tells her to chill. Sanju compliments Lucky on his new haircut. Lucky stammers for a moment, then asks Sanju to the prom, which banners indicate is coming soon. Percy looks up from the Nancy Drew book that he’s reading. Sanju tells Lucky that she’s already going with Percy, and Lucky tells her that that’s cool. Some dude with a streak of bleached hair that’s almost in a mohawk pattern but not quite asks Lucky if he wants to buy a prom ticket, but Lucky says he’s not going. Fake bleached mohawk guy is bummed. Percy looks thoughtful, and approaches Sanju. He tells her that he can’t go to the prom with her, because he’s getting bored with her. Plus, he doesn’t like her lipstick. All good reasons to dump her ass. Sanju looks pissed, and Percy walks away, sighing. Then he turns around and tells her sheepishly that maybe she should go with Lucky instead, and Sanju realizes that Percy is totally sensitive and awesome even though he wears a Thermos around his neck. “Better luck next time, Percy,” Percy says sadly, because Sanju isn’t attracted to him That Way.
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