Main Hoon Na, Part 9

Sanju runs into Ms. Chandni in the hallway and tells her that “it worked.” It being her ass, which she just worked to within an inch of its life. Ms. Chandni tells her that she is looking very pretty, despite the giant piece of submarine scrap metal that she is wearing around her neck. Ms. Chandni suggests that there is someone else that Sanju should thank, and they glance over at Ram, who has a giant Pepsi sticker on his locker because he is a cool dude who loves the refreshing taste of Pepsi. Inside his locker he has some soft focus glamour shots of Lays potato chips and Pizza Hut that he cut out of Stardust magazine. Sanju tries to pimp Ram out, telling Ms. Chandni that Ram is actually older than her, but Ms. Chandni admonishes her that Ram is still her student. Meanwhile, Ram gets the lime green lanyard and novelty pen that he is wearing around his neck caught in his locker. Crazy lanyard hijinks ensue.

Next Sanju bumps into Lucky in the hall. Lucky says that he wants to tell her something, but he’s not sure how to say it. Sanju says that she knows he wants to tell her that she’s looking nice today, and that he is suddently attracted to her. Sanju’s kind of setting herself up to look like an ass if it turns out that all Lucky wanted to tell her was that she has a giant booger hanging out of her nose or something. Sanju tells Lucky that she made herself over for Lucky, but that now she feels like she’s cheating him, because tomorrow when she goes back to her ugly-ass clothes and Mini shows up in her skank-wear, then what? I thought the point of a makeover was that you bought stuff that looked better than your old stuff, and then continued to wear the better-looking stuff, but maybe I’m just imposing my consumption-oriented Americanized value system on this movie. Anyway, Percy walks by, and Sanju tells Lucky that the difference between Lucky and Percy is that Percy’s feelings aren’t for Sanju’s clothes. Other that that, Lucky and Percy are basically the same person. Lucky looks surprised and confused and goes home to watch some professional wrestling. He channel surfs, then turns off the TV. Then he turns it back on two seconds later, as his mother glances at him meaningfully, because mothers can make magic parathas and tell when their sons have found and lost True Love. Ram sits next to Lucky and rubs his thigh, then asks Lucky what’s wrong. Other than Ram’s ideas about personal space. Lucky doesn’t feel like talking, and flips past a program about the army on TV. Ram asks him to go back to that channel, so Lucky does, but looks irritated and leaves the room.

Lucky’s mother tells Ram that dinner is ready, then notices that he’s watching a show on the army. She asks Ram if he’s interested in the army, and he talks about how cool army guys are, with their guns and tanks and uniforms. Oh, and the whole giving up their lives for their country thing. Lucky’s mother looks thoughtful, and flashes back to Lucky’s dad looking happy and stylin’ in his Army uniform. Lucky shows up again, putting on his jean jacket, and tells his mom that he’s going out. He notices his mother watching the TV show and looking sentimental, and switches it off, asking her why she does this to herself. He tells Ram sorry, that he’s not interested in these sorts of shows, or in the army, with their tanks and uniforms and killing people and whatnot. He says that the army and its problems can go take a hike, and that all their display and talk about patriotic duty is bullshit. Ram gets offended and tells Lakshman to speak with some respect. He talks about the sacrifices his father made so they could sleep safely at night, but Lucky responds that his father was in the army and sacrificed his family, not for his country, but so he could raise his bastard son. Well, this is awkward. Lucky’s mother tries to interrupt, but Lucky tells Ram that she hasn’t slept peacefully for twenty years because of Lucky’s father, and that it doesn’t matter to his father, because army men don’t have feelings and aren’t human beings. In fact, Ram is actually a robot. To prove that he doesn’t care, Lucky yells for his father, asking if he can hear him. I bet he can; he’s over in Ram's room, hanging out in the urn. Lucky keeps talking to his dad, asking why he doesn’t scold him for going out late at night and smoking and having bad hair. He asks if his dad loves him, or hates him, or anything. Then Lucky tells him that he hates him, and that he hates his bastard son, except that “bastard” is bleeped out and replaced with “swine” in the subtitles. Lucky leaves; Ram looks uncomfortable and tries to comfort Lucky’s mom, who is crying. He asks if they can ever forgive him, but Lucky’s mom says that it’s too late.
Part 8 Part 10


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