Koi Mil Gaya, Part 5

As Nisha gets her hair blow-dried at a salon, having presumably paid top dollar for a specialized raita-removal treatment, she mutters angrily under her breath about what she’s going to do to Rohit when she gets a hold of him. I bet her hairdresser must think she’s pretty loony, what with all the angry muttering and unnecessary hair appointments. Or maybe she’s used to high-maintenance 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner models. Rohit scoots into town; he notices Nisha’s jeep and then spots her at the salon. After thinking for a moment, he tears out a sheet of paper from his notebook, writes “SORRY ROHIT,” and draws a smiley face below it. He tries to leave the note on the dashboard of the jeep, but it slides off, so he pulls out a wad of chewing gum and sticks it on the seat. Seconds before he can affix the note to the seat, Raj bursts out of nowhere and demands an explanation. Rohit explains that he was just saying sorry, but Raj’s friend points out the chewing gum on Nisha’s seat, a sure sign of tomfoolery and/or monkey business. At the salon, Nisha notices the commotion and rushes outside, explaining to Raj that Rohit is the boy who tricked her into driving him to the movies and then spilled food on her head. Raj informs her of Rohit’s latest and even more dastardly plan to put chewing gum in her hair. The camera cuts to a dramatic close-up shot of the gum, punctuated by a burst of Psycho-style threatening incidental music. Incensed, Nisha demands that they take Rohit to the police, but Raj’s friend, probably wary of a fruitless courtroom battle to convict Rohit of “Assault With Some Gum,” suggests that they let him go. Raj glares at Rohit, makes a kissing noise, and tells him to leave. Rohit pauses for a moment, probably wondering what’s up with the air-kiss, then begins to walk away.

Nisha shrilly asks Raj why he’s letting Rohit go. Perhaps Raj feels that Nisha is a grown woman and is capable of resolving her own disagreements in a calm and reasonable manner. Or maybe he’s planning to trap Rohit in the middle of a ring of rapidly-circling dirtbikes and beat him up. It turns out to be the latter explanation. As the dirtbikers encircle Rohit, they run over his apology note and then shove him around. Schoolbooks hit the ground. Rohit shouts that he was only trying to say sorry, then gets clocked in the back of the head by a dirtbiker before he can explain that he was simply using the gum as a makeshift adhesive. Rohit’s friend Bittu pulls up on his scooter, sees Rohit lying on the ground in the center of the dirtbike circle, then takes off on his scooter again, looking determined. Meanwhile, the bikers run over Rohit’s scooter, smashing it to pieces, as Rohit looks on tearfully. After the crowd has dispersed, Bittu finally finds Sonia. He brings her outside and points out Rohit, still sitting on the ground, clutching the remains of his scooter. Fortunately, none of the pieces seem bent, broken, or even dirty, so maybe the scooter can be repaired. As Sonia and Bittu approach a crying, humiliated Rohit, Sonia notices the scrap of notebook paper on the ground.

Meanwhile, at an outdoor café sponsored by Nescafe (Cha-ching!), Raj and Nisha flirt with each other. As they and their band of ruffians gloat over Rohit’s humiliation, Nisha says in a loud and clearly-enunciated voice that Rohit deserves his punishment. Suddenly, Sonia pipes up from several yards behind her, “No, he deserves to be amongst you!” After delivering a heartfelt speech about how Rohit is an innocent man-child, she holds up the crumpled note and explains that Rohit was just trying to apologize for his actions. She says that she doesn’t blame Nisha for her behavior because she’s new in town, but scolds Raj, who used to be Rohit’s classmate and should know better than to encircle him with dirtbikes and trash his scooter. I can understand why everyone else in the café would want to eavesdrop on Sonia’s dramatic monologue, but you would think they would at least attempt to look preoccupied, rather than standing stock-still and staring raptly at her for the entirety of the speech. That just seems kind of rude. Sonia explains that while Raj grew up and progressed through school like a normal kid, Rohit was left behind. She declares that she doesn’t regret Rohit’s condition, because if being normal means being a total assclown like Raj, then she’s glad that Rohit is abnormal. She doesn’t actually use the term “total assclown,” but it's there in the withering “You are a total assclown” stare she shoots Raj. She tosses the note on the floor and storms away. Chastened, Nisha stares at the note, focusing in on a tight close-up shot of it in order to wring every last drop of pathos out of its crumpled, childlike innocence.

Later, at Rohit’s school, Nisha hides behind a pillar and observes Rohit hanging with the 7^th standard-ers. As she watches, Rohit enters a classroom, and the instructor asks him what he’s doing in the computer class. Another kid tells the instructor that Rohit is taking the computer class as one of his electives, but the instructor yells at the kid to shut up and take a seat. Seriously, who does that kid think he is, the registrar? Rohit explains that he wants to learn about computers, but the instructor tells him that you need brains to study computers. But apparently not open-mindedness or tact. Rohit says that he wants to emulate his dead father the supercomputer genius, but the instructor is unmoved by all the chitchat about dead parents, and tells him to get out. As Nisha stares, Rohit slowly leaves the classroom; she opens her mouth to call after him, but instead watches him walk dejectedly outside, where he contemplates Spectacular View of the Hills #7. As Rohit gazes at the sky, a choral version of “The Om Song” plays, serving as a helpful reminder of all the freaky shit that happened at the beginning of the movie. It’s nice to know they’re not planning to abandon that whole subplot about the aliens.

When Rohit arrives home, he notices a new red bike in front of his house. He exclaims “Avon cycle!” rings the bell, which makes a pleasant “Cha-ching!” sound, and calls his mother. He asks if the bike is for him, thanks her for it, and reiterates that it is an Avon cycle. (Cha-ching.) Sonia tells him to thank Nisha, because she’s the one who brought it for him. Nisha emerges smiling from behind the doorway. Rohit glares angrily at Nisha and tells her he doesn’t want the bike, then rushes inside. Nisha follows him to the back of the house and tries to explain herself. She apologizes and tells him that Raj, Monty, and the others will apologize, too, and will never bother him again. Who the hell is Monty? Rohit asks Nisha what will happen if the boys do bother him, and she tells him that she and Rohit will beat them up together, because now they are friends! As appears to be the fashion among Indian movie youths, they seal their friendship with a supercool handshake.

Later at the disco, Raj shakes Rohit’s hand and apologizes. The other ruffians also apologize, while the girls just say, “Hi!” because they took no part in the dirtbike-facilitated bullying. Then Nisha and Raj excuse themselves to the dance floor, where Nisha shimmies around in her nightgown while Raj dances dorkily with lots of deep knee bends. A girl with a spangly top and big glasses asks Rohit to dance, but Rohit tells her he doesn’t know how to. She says that he just has to hold her body closely and sway, then she holds his body closely and sways. Rohit backs away nervously and tells her he’s not interested. She notices that he’s sweating and tells him to have a Coke (Cha-ching!). One of the ruffians (is it Monty?) orders a Coke (I think I'm going to stop Cha-chinging soon) and pours a clear substance into it. The girl gives it to Rohit and assures him that it will help get rid of his fear and make him stop sweating. She forcibly pours some down his throat, but he pushes it away and tells her it tastes nasty. From the dance floor, Nisha notices the commotion and appears concerned. As the pushy girl pours more of the drink down Rohit’s throat, Nisha marches over, smells the drink, and scolds her for giving Rohit liquor. Oh, so it's liquor. The guy who might be Monty gets in a plug for Bacardi ($$$!) and tells Nisha that Rohit’s not a kid anymore, and that it won’t hurt him. Nisha lectures them some more and says she’s leaving with Rohit. She turns around, but Rohit has already gone.

She goes outside, where Rohit is stumbling around town, already plastered from his swig of Bacardi (How about some “Cha-ching!” for me, Bacardi?) and Coke (Seriously, do you know how much graduate students make?). [Oddly enough, Bacardi is in the Microsoft Word dictionary. So is Budweiser, but Absolut gets the red squiggly line. I guess Microsoft is getting in on the “Cha-ching!” action, too. However, “Cha-ching!” does not appear to be in their dictionary.]

It starts to rain. As a vaguely Chilean-sounding flute theme starts up, Rohit jumps around in the rain. He notices Nisha, waves hello, and beckons for her to join him. Song!

Part 4 Part 6