Kal Ho Naa Ho, Part 23

Shiv rocks out. Flute interlude. Rohit and Naina perform some kind of swingy ballroom dance. Shooby dabba dabba doo wah! DOO WAH! Rohit flings away Naina, who is replaced by Aman. Rohit and Aman shrug, surprised to see each other, and then join hands and dance around. They pass Kantaben, who seems concerned, and Jean de Bon, who seems excited that this movie might finally be delivering on the hot Khan-on-Khan action that it's been promising for the last two and half hours.

Naina sings about pretty flowers and the shehnai playing in her heart, and says that all the stars in the sky are hers. I wonder if “stars in the sky” is a metaphor for “money in Rohit’s bank account.” Is the banister supposed to be on fire? Women twirl around with brightly-colored scarves as Naina smiles at either the aerial camera or the stars in the sky. I’m still not clear on whether this hall is supposed to be indoors or outdoors.

Rohit and Aman chase after Naina and tell her to watch her step, because hearts here are skipping a beat. Then they see Rani Mukherjee and decide to chase after and incur heart damage from her instead. Stir, stir, elbow, elbow, elbow! Rani shows them some new moves. First they fold the meringue, then they honk the truck horn. Fold, fold! Honk, honk, honk! Aman and Rohit thank Rani for the new moves by checking out her ass as she waxes the air.

Aman grabs a baton and conducts a humming interlude. He and Naina exchange furtive glances in the foreground, then Rohit, standing a few feet behind them, smiles at Naina and steps forward. Cut to Naina, crying. This bodes well for the wedding. Jennifer sing-wonders how she can tell Naina how much she loves her. How about via song? As she sings about how happy she will be to accompany Naina in her palanquin, Gia walks by, waving at everyone through the window of what I assume is a cardboard mock-up of a palanquin. Or maybe palanquins are two-dimensional; I actually have no idea. As they watch Gia, Naina mouths an “I love you” to her mother. Aw.

HEY! Rohit and Aman sing about hearts skipping a beat again, then it’s time for the chorus. Now Naina joins them. This time it’s whirl to the left, whirl to the right, elbow the guy/girl to your left. As Aman sings about jewelry again, he notices Kajol showing off her earrings. They say hi to each other, then elbow the guy to their left. This time during the “Rabba! Rabba!” part the jumping guys don’t seem to get as much air. I bet they drank too much nectar. Rohit and Aman point at Naina, because she is the beautiful one that they would like to come over here. Right after they whirl around and elbow the guy to their left one more time. As the saxophone plays some riffs from the My Two Dads theme song, Rohit and Naina exchange rings. Rohit’s hand looks suspiciously chubby in the close-up shot. End of song.

Time to bust out the dandias! Microsoft word keeps changing my “dandia”s to “dandie”s. Oh Microsoft Word, why all the dandia-hate? The music starts up again, and everyone yells “Hey!” and does an overarm cricket bowling motion with their dandias. Quick cuts of people dancing and yelling “Hey!” I think Vimmo/Kammo is doing the robot. It’s pretty awesome, but only lasts for a second. The dancing grows faster and more exuberant. In slow motion, Aman skips around, then twirls in a circle, arms outstretched. His expression shifts from happy to surprised, and he stops twirling and slowly falls to his knees. His vision becomes blurry and the music becomes whispery and foreboding as people continue to dance happily in a circle around him. Can’t they hear the whispery and foreboding music? Slow-motion images fade in and out of Aman’s vision. After about thirty seconds of swooning, Aman realizes that he is surrounded by the most obliviously happy dancers ever, and rises to his feet by himself, clutching his left arm. You’d think Priya could have at least warned Aman to avoid strenuous exercise during one of the pensive walks that pass for medical care at her HMO.

Cut to Aman’s bedroom, where he is crouched on the floor, sweaty and gasping for air. After all the shitty medical care Aman’s received in New York, I kind of don’t blame him for not going immediately to the hospital. Cut to the hospital. Wait, so did he just go home to change his clothes? Montage of gurney-rolling shots. Aman’s mother looks on, distraught but nicely coordinating with the blue and off-white color scheme of the hospital. A doctor tells Aman that another episode could result in – he pauses. Aman says that he understands. But doesn’t he at least want to check that the doctor means “death,” and not, say, “mild discomfort”?

Part 22 Part 24


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