9.06.2005

Koi Mil Gaya, Part 3

A group of guys on dirtbikes approach a bridge. Meanwhile, Rohit and his scooter gang approach from the other side. Both groups appear to be ignoring the lane marker in the center of the road. I foresee a potential conflict! As the two gangs reach the bridge, each taking up the entire width of the road, the leader of the dirtbike gang raises his visor and gestures dismissively for Rohit to back off. After checking with his friends, Rohit shakes his head and stands his ground sheepishly. The dirtbike gang leader (who appears to have some kind of “Hello, my name is ____” sticker on his leather motorcycle jacket that I unfortunately can’t decipher) points out that Rohit is six feet tall and hanging out with a bunch of two foot tall kids. Tall people associating with the short? How can he allow such shenanigans to occur? He asks Rohit if he has no shame, then tells him to move. Rohit continues to stand his ground, so the dirtbike gang leader, Raj, removes his helmet and twirls it villainously. The Sikh kid next to Rohit, apparently uncowed by the sight of a villainously twirled helmet, tells Rohit that they need to give these dogs a shot, because they’re barking too much. Rohit replies, “Ah yes, the formula number.” The kid on Rohit's other side continues the string of incomprehensible banter by saying “-320.” Maybe they’re going to resolve this disagreement with some kind of math/veterinary competition.

Raj and company stride Reservoir Dogs-style over to Rohit and the scooter gang. When they draw close, Rohit and his friends pop wheelies, strategically hitting the dirtbikers in the crotch with their scooters. Oh, I see, it’s the dog-sedative-formula-number-negative-320-scooter-in-the-crotch strategy! Rohit scoots past Raj over the bridge and knocks over a few dirtbikes in the process. As the children beat up on a few of the dirtbikers, the remaining three chase after Rohit, who approaches a closed gate with a stop sign on it. Fortunately, his scooter has a retractable handle, allowing him to duck under the gate, which dirtbiker #1 smashes into. Dirtbikers #2 and #3 jump the gate and follow Rohit into town. I bet right now they’re pretty pissed that they bought dirtbikes lacking even the minimal acceleration power needed to overtake a push scooter.

Oh no, Rohit’s going to run into the pretty cart of flowers being pushed by a random townswoman! No wait, he just jumped over it. As Raj and his companion ride into town, a police jeep rolls into the path of the dirtbikes, blocking their access to Rohit. Rohit gloats and kisses his Razor scooter as Raj, now unable to beat up Rohit, decides instead to point at him really emphatically. Johnny Lever and a taller guy wearing matching olive green uniforms and blue berets get out of the jeep. Are they UN peacekeepers? I have no idea. The tall guy asks Raj where they’re going in such a hurry as Johnny Lever blurts out that they’re in a “No-Entry” zone. Raj explains that Rohit knocked their bikes down. The tall guy tells Johnny Lever, a.k.a. Sukhwani, to give Raj a ticket. Raj cockily tells the tall guy that perhaps he’s not aware of who he’s speaking to, but the tall guy interrupts, “I know you’re Raj, the District Magistrate Harbans Saxena’s son.” He tells Sukhwani to double the fine and to “have this news splashed in the local newspapers.” What paper wouldn't be excited to run a juicy story like “Harbans Saxena’s Son Raj Rides Dirtbike into No-Entry Area?” The tall UN peacekeeper tells Raj that when Inspector Khan is in charge, no one can take things for granted; not the District Magistrate’s son, or even the District Magistrate himself. Maybe Inspector Khan should just narrate the rest of the movie himself in his helpfully expository manner.

A house with yet another spectacular view of the hills. Outside, some guy named Colonel Malhotra greets the owner of the house, a man named Harbans. I assume that Harbans is District Magistrate Harbans Saxena, but I don’t want to take things for granted, in case Inspector Khan is still in charge. He might get mad at me for taking things for granted and then make the local newspaper publish a story about it. The Colonel and the (probable) Magistrate insult each other playfully, then explain to each other that they are good friends who have retired and decided to spend the rest of their days as neighbors. Given that they both ended up in the same town, I assume they must have had a similar conversation several months ago, but I guess it’s always good to make sure you’re on the same page. Harbans tells Colonel Malhotra and his wife that they’re going to have a party at their bungalow to celebrate. Then he asks them about their tiny little girl, and Colonel Malhotra’s wife explains that their tiny little girl is all grown up. Harbans appears surprised by this development, and his wife asks where the grown-up girl is now. I guess the last time they met, they were too busy making vague, unconfirmed retirement plans to ask about the kids, and whether they too had experienced the passage of time.
Part 2 Part 4

4 Comments:

At 1/16/2007 8:27 PM, Blogger Salil said...

Holy fucking shit.

I'm laughing so hard at this that I'm crying. I'm in a hotel room in a Holiday Inn Express in Wilkesboro, NC. And I'm certain that whoever's in the room next door thinks I'm fucking insane.

And I don't care. More! More!

 
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